Even if you love your family members or the people you live with, confinement can lead to problems with living together. How do we face them if we cannot leave the house?
It seems that we still face many days of confinement in our homes. And now that we have to live in our homes for more days without the possibility of going out other than to make the purchase, many people ask for advice to quarantine in the best possible way and to manage well the stress and anxiety that this extraordinary situation gives them. is provoking.
But we are going to try to go further, we are going to take advantage of the circumstance to strengthen ties with the members of our family, with our partner or with the people with whom we are living during this quarantine and enjoy each other, do you dare?
Here I propose 5 steps that lead us to well-being and harmony in coexistence. Don’t skip any!
Recognize fear
When we live in situations as uncertain as this, we all feel fear, anxiety, worry, stress … There will be people who verbalize it easily. That’s fine. There are studies that show that saying that something scares you reduces it . Listen to it without judgment.
There will be people who cry or are taciturn for a time. That’s okay too, it’s another way to allay fear.
And there will be those who seem totally normal but will jump aggressively for anything. This is not the best option, but it will happen a lot, and it takes us to the next step:
Developing empathy
What if when someone does something annoying or unpleasant instead of reacting, I stop to think about why they do it?
Just by stopping to think, I’m already stopping the emotional stream of anger or outrage. That I win!
And I can also understand that the actions of others are not against me, they just have not found another way to cope with what they are experiencing inside.
I can know more about their inner world, and by knowing them more, I can also love them more. And understand that, deep down, we are good people subjected to circumstances that we do not know how to manage better and we do what we can.
Forgive
If I am able to truly put myself in your shoes and understand why you do what is bothering me, I open the door to forgiveness.
I understand that, like you, it also sometimes happens to me that I do not know how to manage my internal states and I end up damaging in one way or another those around me.
Because we are all human and imperfect. I forgive you and I forgive myself. And this leads me to:
Developing compassion
Compassion? Yes, in its Buddhist meaning, it is a form of LOVE.
When I have understood you and I have felt your humanity that is the same as mine, a sincere desire arises in me to help you, to make you feel good, to end your suffering. That is compassion.
And then, I look at you, I forgive you, I smile at you and I offer to help you with whatever is happening to you …
Practice assertiveness
Maybe when you see these steps you think “Guadalupe, this is all very nice, but do I have to put up when they misbehave?”
No enduring!
We will recognize, empathize, forgive and help and we will also set limits and ask that the behaviors that hurt us not be repeated. How? With assertiveness. Here I remind you of the basic scheme:
I understand that …
However, when you do…. I feel that ….
So for other times, we could….
Examples:
- I understand that you are concerned with this situation and that what we are experiencing is not easy,
- However, when you yell at me or yell at another of the family I feel that you don’t care, and it hurts me
- So for other times, we could see how you can speak in a more cordial way. What can you think of? how can you do it? I need this to improve …
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